I'm enjoying your story bits as they come in, but this time I—old editor—would point out that creatures with black soulless eyes, especially on the sides of the head, would have trouble staring hungrily at something. Or to be more precise, I have trouble picturing that.
Hey Michael I'm glad you're enjoying the series and I definitely appreciate the editing feedback. As a longtime journalist, I do realize one of the drawbacks of publishing without an editor is you're publishing without an editor. And sometimes it shows. I'll make the adjustment and thanks again.
I'm enjoying your story bits as they come in, but this time I—old editor—would point out that creatures with black soulless eyes, especially on the sides of the head, would have trouble staring hungrily at something. Or to be more precise, I have trouble picturing that.
Hey Michael I'm glad you're enjoying the series and I definitely appreciate the editing feedback. As a longtime journalist, I do realize one of the drawbacks of publishing without an editor is you're publishing without an editor. And sometimes it shows. I'll make the adjustment and thanks again.